Introduction
Hey there, do you also feel like your better half ALWAYS! priorities himself in each and every situation without considering you, your feelings due to which you are in a loop of Delima that ”you are wrong always” I know you are. due to which many issues are created in relationship, but you know what? It’s completely ok to feel defeated in this situation BUT remember It’s not YOUR FAULT for all this.
If you are facing issues like your partner always want to maintain control over so, there are high chances of being narcissistic you which turns out to be toxic and negative in every situation, use manipulative tricks by which you stuck in lots of confusion even If it’s a simple task in your routine of life or is extremely self – obsessed with themself by which he never give attention , take responsibility when really needed, always keeps himself first and many more causes list is endless… It means you have a narcissist husband.
In this blog, we will understand how to deal with a narcissistic husband, how to protect your mental health, and how to regain your self-worth. Because your happiness and peace also matter!
Simple Meaning of Narcissism
If I explain you in layman language, It’s a personality disorder in which person is extremely obsessed with him or herself so much that they in every situation mark their self- importance on the top. Like they know what’s important in different situations as according to that requirements should be done but due to their disorder they are not able to do! Due to which many relationship issues are created. Some common pattern you can notice in your partner like self- centered behaviour where your partner prioritises his needs above yours, really care about others in worst situation.
It’s impact in India
Due to ( NDP) Narcissistic Personality Disorder it is estimated 0.5%-5% people in general faces and are affected with this problem. Studies indicates that men are 75% more likely to suffer than women.
Toxic and abusive marriage in India
According to National Family Health survey ( NFHS-5, 2019-21) more than 30% of married women are victims of some or other worst form of domestic violence.
Psychological abuse- including manipulation, emotional blackmailing and gaslighting) is very common in India now adays but no proper documentation, data is published regarding to this.
Divorce rate and narcissism impact
In past few years divorce rate was less then 1% but due to awareness and importance of mental health and knowing what’s wrong and right people have started to leave the toxic marriages.
Mental health and therapy trends
Along with this mental health awareness in India there is increase in number of people seeking marital counselling and therapy is also increasing widely. according to survey in 2020 ,40% of married women who take therapy cite controlling and narcissistic behaviour of their partner as the main reason mostly.
3 major traits of narcissist husband
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You don’t feel connected
Ok now it might sounds a bit confusing to you … let me explain like when he talks to you when he needed just like a normal friends do in school or college just for formality. As we all know relation of husband and wife is so unique in itself and for that love , care , communication emotional connection is very important .If you are feeling unworthy due to your partner never discuss anything with you then it’s completely wrong.
Due to this disorder they might never actually asks what are your plan for futures or how you wanna built a like and work together on it .See efforts should be from both the side only then you can have healthy relationship .He just constantly put himself first as he is the only one and rarely shows interest in you, avoiding you for no reason and many more due to which deep means very deep wounds are developes .
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He manipulates you
He always gives you mix actions or reactions when you try to put efforts, as they know what they want they will get by using tactics like playing like a victim, make you feel guilty for no reason. They can be so manipulative that you don’t even know….like for example If he wants sex and she is not in mood or try to avoid as she never feel like married couple he can threat her that if she will not do as he say then he will give divorce to her , leak their private moment or her insecurity etc . So, in simple terms they will control you as they want and ofcourse negative impact have in both person and relation.
- Lack of empathy
This is the mandatory sign of narcissist as they can’t put himself their status and importance low before anything , for him he is the only person in this world matters the most . Due to this disorder they might be so rock hearted that they know what’s wrong but still they continue to do as their hobby , like in this cheating on spouse, physical and mental abuse are done majorly. Empathy allows person do keep kindness and loyalty and most importantly TRUST if person don’t have then many negative impacts can be seen in every sphere of life and OfCourse in relationship too.
How you can help your husband?
Telling your partner that he have serious disorder like this is way too hard as we think, as he will definitely say NO to accept it. Narcissist sounds somewhat mysterious yet dangerous right?…person suffering from this rarely see Themselves as a problem infact they rarely trust and believes others and the percentage of trusting is so less mostly they trust so, their work can we done….or I say they just ACT to believe. For them only they are the best, supreme, have all the knowledge of the world. Convincing your partner is like hitting your head in wall.
Now let’s come down to your question that is itching your mind and heart a lot. See try to understand you can’t ”fully fix” him nor you can force to fix him. Honestly you don’t know from which situation, environment or in simple words How his past or childhood was as it plays very important role to shape the whole personality of the person. What you can do is try to figure out every conflict or fight very camly, try to create a safe and trusting relation with him, go and gain knowledge about human psychology , listen podcast, read books , join seminar remember resources are endless now it’s up to you what and how you are approaching for .
Now Therapy is the another most used and effective way, but twist is he should must be willing to listen and follow . That’s why I have mentioned earlier to first make your relation good with him and go with Resouces that I have mentioned. further according to Dr Craig Malkin, author of “Rethinking Narcissism,” it’s possible for narcissists to change—but only if they’re willing to change help and realize the negative impact of their behavior on others. Unfortunately, getting to that point is rare without a major life crisis forcing self-reflection.
Wrapping up
Living with a narcissistic husband is a constant emotional rollercoaster, one that can leave you feeling mentally drained and hopeless. The narcissist’s need for control, validation, and superiority overshadows any genuine connection or partnership. It’s important to remember that you cannot change him; you can only change how you respond to his behavior and how you protect yourself.
From setting clear boundaries to focusing on self-care, navigating a relationship with a narcissist requires strategy and emotional fortitude. His manipulative tactics, lack of empathy, and inability to take responsibility will never change unless he actively seeks help. And even then, the journey toward self-awareness is often slow and fraught with resistance.
At the core of your survival in such a relationship is reclaiming your sense of self. This means recognizing that his behavior is not your fault and that you deserve respect, love, and emotional security. By seeking support from others, focusing on self-care, and practicing emotional detachment, you can regain some control over your life. Ultimately, you must decide what is best for your own mental health and future, whether that means staying and coping or making the difficult decision to leave.
